THE BALLAD OF MAGGID
(Tune of “The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down)
Steven Kuchinsky
In the land of Haran our ancestors worshipped idols
And then came Abraham as we read about in the bible
And God told him go to the land I have shown
But your children will be slaves in a land not their own
Cruelly oppressed by the most brutal of men
But surely I will bring them out again”
The night God threw old Egypt down, and all the slaves they were fleeing
The night God threw old Egypt down, and all the Hebrews were singing
We sang, Na nana…)
Then we were shepherds by trade and we lived in the land of Canaan
Then calamity came and we journeyed down to Mitzrayim
Our brother Joseph was right at the top, so they promised us the cream of the crop
Take the best they would have us believe
But they never ever ever told us that we couldn’t leave
The night God threw old Egypt down, and all the slaves they were fleeing
The night God threw old Egypt down, and all the Hebrews were singing
We sang, Na, na-na-na…)
We were only a few when we came and they all revered us
But our numbers grew vast and the Egyptians began to fear us
Pharaoh plotted against us and gave the order
To break our spirits with brick and with mortar
He thought that his tactics would beat us for sure
But in spite of that our numbers grew still more
The night God threw old Egypt down, and all the slaves they were fleeing
The night God threw old Egypt down, and all the Hebrews were singing
We sang, Na, na-na-na…)
So Pharaoh made a decree that every Hebrew boy had to be slaughtered
Then one mother took heed and she hid her little baby in the water
As fate would have it, Pharaoh’s daughter came,
She plucked him from the water and she gave him his name
She said, Baby Moses from the water I drew
But she never could have guessed that one day he’d draw us out too
The night God threw old Egypt down, and all the slaves they were fleeing
The night God threw old Egypt down, and all the Hebrews were singing
We sang, Na, na-na-na…)
When a new Pharaoh came we all hoped that he might relieve us
But matters just stayed the same so our hopes had only deceived us
In desperation, we cried to the Lord
“Help us oh God, or let us die by the sword”
God heard our cry, and remembered His vow
That he’d made to Abraham so long ago
The night God threw old Egypt down, and all the slaves they were fleeing
The night God threw old Egypt down, and all the Hebrews were singing
We sang, Naaa, na-na-naa, na-na-na-na-naa, na-naa
When Moses grew to a man he said, “Pharaoh, you gotta give my people freedom.”
He said, “It’s part of God’s plan,” but Pharaoh laughed; he simply wouldn’t believe him
But then the ten plagues struck all over the place
Each time it happened Pharaoh fell on his face
“Go!” he said, “I promise to give you no flack”
But each and every time he took his promise back
The night God threw old Egypt down, and all the slaves they were fleeing
The night God threw old Egypt down, and all the Hebrews were singing
We sang, Naaa, na-na-naa, na-na-na-na-naa, na-naa
Then came the angel of Death, and cast its awful shadow on the nation
It left the first-born dead, the Egyptians cried in anguished desolation
“Get out! Pharaoh said, “Go back to your home,
Take everything you want, but simply leave us alone.”
600,000 left in the rush of surprise
It happened faster than dough can even rise
The night God threw old Egypt down, and all the slaves they were fleeing
The night God threw old Egypt down, and all the Hebrews were singing
We sang, Naaa, na-na-naa, na-na-na-na-naa, na-naa
When they stood by the sea Pharaoh saw them trapped there and repented
That he’d let them go free, and regretted that he ever had relented
He sent his soldiers in chariots out to the shore
But Moses said fear not, only trust in the Lord
Over the sea he stretched out his hand
And at the word of the Lord we walked over on dry land
The night God threw old Egypt down, and all the slaves they were fleeing
The night God threw old Egypt down, and all the Hebrews were singing
We sang, Naaa, na-na-naa, na-na-na-na-naa, na-naa
600,000 walked through as we marveled at the miracle before us
Then the Egyptians too, drove their chariots amid the raging torrents
When we were safely across we looked back at our foes
In the middle of the sea when it tumbled and closed
All the might of Egypt was lost in the sea
Let us praise now the Lord who set us free
The night God threw old Egypt down, and all the slaves they were fleeing
The night God threw old Egypt down, and all the Hebrews were singing
We sang, Naaa, na-na-naa, na-na-na-na-naa, na-naa
Don't cry for us Eretz Zion
You'd think it's just a story when we explain
How it was that we all came to be
When we fled from the shadow into the light of the sun
The light of freedom
A book full of words is maybe all that you'll see
How could it ever be true
How can you walk through a sea
God knew it had to happen
We had to be there
In a land that we never had known ….
Where each breath that we took, we took just to survive
Devoid of reason
Cut off from the land that was all that we knew
And yet had no memory at all
Of what God had promised us to
Don't cry for us Eretz Zion
The truth is we never left you
All through the darkness
Within Mitzrayim
There always waiting
Y'rushalayim
HEY JEWS
Hey Jews
Don't make it bad
Take a sad song and make it better
Don't let yourselves be beaten and whipped
Get out of Egypt!
And make it better
Hey Jews
Don't be afraid
You were made to survive a desert.
Bake bread - and don't you worry 'bout leaven
Manna from heaven
Will make it better
And anytime you feel in doubt
Hey Jews, look out!
You're moving from maror to charoseth
The man who thinks he runs the show will let you go
And I'll take you back to the land of Joseph (Nanananana...)
Hey Jews
Don't let me down
Bake your matzah; Hi-tail it out o'town
Keep going with all the faith in your heart
The sea will part
To make it better.
And Moses, if they want my plan
Just say "I Am"
Whatever I'll be is what I'll be now
Just trust that you can live in style beyond the Nile
The life of a slave ain't worth a flea, now (Nananananana)
Hey Jews
You're goin' strong
Sing a glad song around the seder
Proclaim it throughout the land for all time
For humankind to make it better, better, better,
(7 minutes of wild nananananana)
EXODUS PIE
By Steven Kuchinsky
(Tune of “American Pie”)
Question: (Spoken)
Abba (or Emah)
We've been stuck in this desert for years and years
Just wandering
- and wandering
- and wandering
And I was just wondering
Why are we wandering??
Answer (Tune of "American Pie")
A long, long time ago
Way off in the land of Pharaoh
We were just a bunch of Hebrew slaves
Life was torture and I recall
They did their best to kill us all
But we just grew in numbers every day
Then to the Lord of all creation
We cried out loud in desperation
Though we are just slaves, Boss
Oh please God, come and save us
What changed inside of you and me
That day we entered history?
And God came down and heard our plea
The day He set us free
(Chorus)
So, we, we are a nationality
For our Rebbi who's a Levi brought us down to the sea
We walked right over on dry land, you and me
Singing, “this'll be the day that we're free”
“This'll be the day that we're free”
(Faster)
Now it says in the biblical book of "G"
God promised us our own country
Right in the middle of the world
When we walked right through the Sea of Reeds
We thanked God for His wondrous deeds
And Miriam started dancing in a circle of girls
And when she took her tambourine
The rest of us began to sing
We all just danced around
And watched those soldiers drown
Then the Holy One said, “Hey shame on you!
Don't you know they're my children too”
But we had such joy what else could we do
The day He set us free
We started singing -
We are a nationality
For our Rebbi who's a Levi brought us down to the sea
We walked right over on dry land, you and me
Singing “This'll be the day that we're free”
“This'll be the day that we're free"
(Slow)
Now thousands of years have rushed on by
Those first of Israel have long since died
But they're alive again in us tonight
And as we gather we recall
And try to make sense of it all
And pray that we come closer to the light
For a phoenix rises once again
Israel, our dearest friend
We hold you like a treasure
Bless the world with peace forever
And if that should happen perhaps we'll know
Just why it started so long ago
When we began a-wandering so
The day they set us free
When we were singing...
We are a nationality
For our Rebbi who's a Levi took us down to the sea
We walked right over on dry land, you and me
Singing This'll be the day that we're free
This'll be the day that we're free
And now we're singing:
We are a nationality
For our Rebbi who's a Levi took us down to the sea
We’11 cross right over on dry land, you and me
Singing, "This'll be the day that we're free”
Old man on the Mountaintop – another Maggid
(To the tune of “Piano Man” by Billy Joel)
There’s an old man on a mountaintop
Beside him a bush with a flame
And the old man is yearning
To see why it’s burning
And still stays exactly the same
And the spirit of God, it calls out to him
I choose you to set my people free
And he says, Thank God you chose my sisters and bro’s
But why did you have to choose me
dai da-dai da-da dai dai
dai da-da dai da-dai dai dai dai
Let’s sing oh children of Israel
Let’s sing a song tonight
We have walked through the sea
On our way to be free
So let’s sing with joy and delight
Now Moses, he was a humble one
He’d choose others rather than he
God said Aaron will convey
What you tell him to say
But the words will be coming from me
And you’ll go and you’ll say unto Pharoah
The Lord says let my people go
But don’t get up your hopes
The Egyptians are dopes
And Pharaoh will surely say no
dai da-dai da-da dai dai
dai da-da dai da-dai dai dai dai
Let’s sing oh children of Israel
Let’s sing a song tonight
We have walked through the sea
On our way to be free
So let’s sing with joy and delight
Then blood consumed all of the water
Frogs and lice covered the land
Pharaoh’s wise men cried out, to let us all out
But Pharaoh refused our demand
Then the beasts came and plague struck the cattle
Followed by boils and hail
The Egyptians cried out get the Hebrews all out
Against this god we cannot prevail.
But Pharaoh’s heart wouldn’t hark to them
Just as God said it would be
And the locusts came down and then darkness surrounded
So thick that no one could see
And then Moses called out unto Pharaoh
Beware it is now on your head
And in all of their dwellings occurred such a yelling
And all of their first-born were dead
Then a cry arose out of Egypt
The like never heard before
And they cried out of fear
You must get out of here
Or Egypt will be never more
Get out with our silver, get out with our gold
Get out or we’ll all be dead
Then we left in a rush with no time to take much
And our food was just unleavened bread
dai da-dai da-da dai dai
dai da-da dai da-dai dai dai dai
Let’s sing oh children of Israel
Let’s sing a song tonight
We have walked through the sea
On our way to be free
So let’s sing with joy and delight
And the Hebrews stood by the water
But Pharaoh again changed his mind
It was clear in that place we could never escape
For his chariots trapped us from behind
Then we watched as the sea burst asunder
Leaving a pathway wide
And we walked through with awe at the miracle we saw
And rejoiced on the other side
Then the sea yielded back to its nature
And swallowed the charioteers
It was then we became a free people by name
And cried out in laughter and tears
And Miriam took up her timbrels
She danced with her tambourine
Who is like unto God the almighty
Who does wonders like we’ve never seen
dai da-dai da-da dai dai
dai da-da dai da-dai dai dai dai
Let’s sing oh children of Israel
Let’s sing a song tonight
We have walked through the sea
On our way to be free
So let’s sing with joy and delight
I WANT TO BE IN THE PROMISED LAND
